Lez-B-Honest

sandsofsaadi:

split-the-coast:

To the person I reblogged this from:

I’m going to break this down line-by-line for you because you clearly don’t understand rape culture, feminism, your own privilege, or anything, for that matter.

• “I was dressed like a whore” First, who gets to decide what that means? For any standard you can come up with, I’m sure I can find at least ten people who disagree with you, then they could each find ten more, and so on and so forth. The point is, that whole idea is entirely subjective. Regardless, clothes (or lack thereof) are not an invitation. It’s called autonomy. It’s a basic human right. Everyone deserves it. I could walk down the street completely naked and no one would have the right to violate my autonomy.
• “and got really drunk at a party” You can be completely hammered and authority over your body is still exclusively yours. I know that information probably isn’t new to you because, you know, you’re a guy. Here’s the shocker: that applies to women too! However, when you are intoxicated (that’s another word for drunk), your ability to react or respond is impeded. Therefore, it is the responsibility of the people around you to act like decent, empathetic people and respect your autonomy even if you can’t actively advocate for yourself. Think of it like this, since in your infinite male privilege you can’t seem to empathize with anyone: if you went out of town for the weekend and forgot to lock your door, you would expect your neighbors to be respectful of your property anyway. You wouldn’t say, “Well, I guess it’s all my fault for not locking my door. I couldn’t really expect my neighbors to keep their kleptomaniacal impulses at bay.” 
• “then fucked a guy in the stairway. I soon after passed out” If she was drunk enough to pass out, the guy should have realized she was too drunk to have sex. I’m going to leave it at that because I don’t think that’s hard to figure out.
• “I felt guilty about it the next day and said I was raped.” What strikes me the most here is the fact that you clearly don’t realize that most rape victims do feel guilty afterward. One of the hardest parts of recovery is grappling with and overcoming that guilt. Do you know why they feel guilty? Not because they’re lying, not because they did anything wrong. Because fuckwads like you perpetuate victim blaming (which is what this entire photoset is dedicated to, in case that concept is unclear). Do you know who’s to blame for her assault? Her rapist. Only her rapist. If anyone else deserves even a fraction of the blame it’s members of the patriarchal machine who help her rapist feel like he’s entitled to her body. People like you, you piece of shit.
• “my boyfriend knew I was lying and he spit in my face and left me” Again, I’m struck by how this trivializes a reality for so many people. I’ve heard first-hand about people whose partners think they’re lying and leave them. And also it’s the same patriarchal machine that allows her boyfriend to have that reaction, to believe that her clothes and behavior warranted rape. To believe that the pain he feels over “his” woman being penetrated by another guy is somehow greater than the trauma she’s experienced and the long road of healing she has in front of her. You’re an asshole.
• “I am not responsible for my own actions” You’re an asshole. She is responsible for drinking to excess. No one denies that. But she’s not responsible for her assault. I think I’ve made that as clear as possible. If you still don’t get it, please talk to daisea.tumblr.com because she will break it down even further.

One more thing: You’re an asshole.

———

Because this is just done so well.

I bow to your knowledge.

Okay, seriously, snaps for split-the-coast. You’re amazing and I would give you four candy-grams if I knew where you lived. But whomever made this fucking photoset, I wonder how many girls you have raped in the past. I wonder how offended you got when your frat-boy agenda to get girls as drunk as possible and then take advantage of them was disrupted by this picture. I wonder if you pointed the blame on these girls that you could have possibly taken advantage of and said, “That’s them. That’s allll on them.” I don’t think you understand what it is like to be a victim of rape, hell, you don’t even understand what it is like living in this country where the “boy’s club” rules everything. Have you ever known someone who has been raped? What if that was your sister holding that sign? What if that was your mother holding that sign? Then would sit there and question their reliability as a victim? How about you go to the Slut Walk or participate in events that involve victims of sexual assault and then see if you feel the same way about this. If your mind doesn’t change, then Rick Santorum has a Facebook and I’m sure he wouldn’t mind you hitting him up at any time.

(Source: kashf4i)